The shortest time a woman was widowed was six months and the longest was 22 years, while the rest lost their husbands between one and nine years ago. Only one widow stated that she was in poor health, three said they were in fair health and the remainder reported that their health was good, very good, or excellent. Maybe widows had been little old ladies in the past, but not now.
Grieving for a beloved spouse, particularly after a long-term marriage is one of the hardest parts of life these women experienced. The grieving can be intense and last a long time.
Before a widow could embark on her new single life, she was constrained by a wall of grief, and during this time she could accomplish almost nothing physically or mentally. One woman remembered being absolutely numb after her husband passed away.
She literally staggered, physically unable to walk a straight line from one point to another. Some of these steps were rewarding, though difficult, others were a mixture of good and bad feelings, and still others were disappointing. One of the most positive outcomes reported by the widows was their realization that they were more capable of handling their lives than they ever dreamed they could be. They found this dichotomy difficult but admitted that their self-images had improved and that they were becoming more self-reliant.
In many of the households, the husbands dealt with the finances, so handling finances added to the trauma of loss, even for women who were relatively well-off. So many details needed to be settled when the women were still grieving and unable to function at their usual level. Most of the women had not had any previous experience with Social Security, pension decisions and investing. Taking all of that on was a big deal. It was difficult to find footholds and the terrain felt treacherous.
Yet, at the end, they managed. When widows tried to reestablish some of their previous social activities, they did not always like what they found. If the widows lacked the energy or wherewithal to go out and look for something new, they felt alone, invisible, marginalized, and forgotten. Modern life can be very isolating.
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Hawa was pregnant when she lost her husband and the rest of her family in the fighting in the Central African Republic. She fled and crossed into Cameroon, becoming a refugee at the Gado camp, where she gave birth to Haphisi. Invisible Women, Invisible Problems For many women around the world, the devastating loss of a partner is magnified by a long-term fight for their basic rights and dignity.
Problems for widows in developing countries Poverty. No access to credit or other economic resources, even for childcare or education. No rights or limited rights, to inheritance or land ownership under customary and religious law.
Disowned by relatives and made homeless in countries like India, forcing many women to seek informal work as domestic labourers or turn to begging or prostitution. She felt compelled to return stateside to care for the young man. The couple resumed a long-distance relationship. But in , she got a call from a hospital in Amsterdam informing her that Paolo was very ill; doctors had discovered a large tumor in his stomach, and they were about to operate.
She immediately flew to his side. Benilda and Paolo then found a place in the south of France. For a while, he seemed to recuperate, but his recovery was transient. The cancer metastasized on his lung, and, after suffering terribly, Paolo died in early In a foreign country. So I stayed. I love it here now, but it took a while. Any budgeting I had done was inadequate, as Paolo left me nothing but bills.
The two fell in love, married and made plans to raise a child. But when Deb went to the doctor complaining of back pain, she learned that her cancer had returned. For three years, the cancer was controllable, but it was not cured. Francoise was lucky. The gains in longevity have been more rapid for women than for men; hence, the growing proportion of elderly women in the population highlights the overall rates of widowhood.
It has been estimated that about one-fourth of all married women in the United States will be widowed by age sixty-five, and that one-half of the remaining women will have lost their husbands by age seventy-five Berardo Because there is little chance that the mortality differences between genders will be reversed anytime soon, the excess of women at the upper ages will continue to increase, and the older population will be comprised of a larger proportion of widows.
Aware of these trends, researchers have focused their attention primarily on the conditions surrounding female survivors. Although comparative knowledge about the experiences and needs of males who have lost their spouses remains insufficient there are a few attempts to learn more about their experiences.
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