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Listening Skills 1. As we pretend to pay attention we are impatiently waiting for an opening, or internally formulating our rebuttal and planning our devastating comeback that will destroy their argument and make us the victor. We assume that we heard and understand correctly, but stay passive and do not verify it. This verification or feedback process is what distinguishes active listening and makes it effective.
Even regularly doing meditation can help improve your ability to focus and pay attention. If you are not able to adjust to where a speaker is going, you will not be able to have an open mind. This takes us back to the first of the three basic skills of listening: attitude. Having an open mind allows us to adjust to what is being said and, in the end, makes us better able to take in what we are hearing.
When we apply the three basic skills of listening that we just learned about, we should find that we are right where we need to be in order to effectively listen. We should be at a point where we actively listen to and reflect on what we hear.
While the following list does not encompass all the possible barriers that may exist, it does include the most common barriers you are likely to see and identify with. The more you understand the barriers to listening, the more likely you are to be successful in avoiding them.
Boredom: People find it difficult to concentrate on what is being said when they are not interested in the topic or they are simply bored. Internal issues: People often are distracted by what is going on internally, such as having a headache, being hungry, or not feeling well. All of these issues will make it more difficult to listen.
Knowing it all: If you are listening to someone and you believe you already know what they are going to say or the answer to what they are speaking about, you are more likely to shut out what they are saying. This is another example of why it is important to approach listening with an open mind. Being preoccupied: If you have something else on your mind, it will be more difficult to think about what is being said around you. What your mind is preoccupied with is likely to keep creeping back into your thoughts, stealing your focus.
Being preoccupied and daydreaming are both issues that that will prevent effective listening. Perception: If listeners have any bias or prejudice regarding the speaker or subject matter, it is likely that they will be focusing on their disapproval rather than what is actually being said.
This is why it is important to approach listening with an open mind and relaxed attitude. Listeners' emotions play a big role in how they perceive what they are listening to, as well as the speaker. Red flag words: There are particular words that are hot-button issues with most people.
If someone is listening to someone else speak and hears particular words that the listener may be sensitive to, it could put the focus on that and become a distraction. If someone is emotional, he or she will have a more difficult time listening.
Language barriers: If there are language barriers, such as someone not being a native English-speaker or having a speech problem, it can create difficulty in how the listener takes in what is being said. Language barriers also can make it challenging for the listener to stay interested in the speaker and resist daydreaming. Attention span issues: As previously mentioned, if someone suffers from a medical condition that prevents or makes it difficult for the person to pay attention, she or he most likely will not be able to listen very well.
People with attention span challenges can work on trying to improve and also see a doctor for Attention Deficit Disorder ADD testing if they feel there may be a medical reason for their difficulties. The common barriers to listening listed above can be addressed to improve your skills. Here are some tips:. Adhere to the old saying that we should treat others how we would want to be treated. If you would find it offensive for people to snap their gum and look at their shoes as you are explaining something, then be sure not to engage in such activity yourself.
Putting yourself in the other person's shoes is a sure way to focus on the way in which you should listen. If you have the ability to reduce or eliminate the distractions, you should make the effort.
If you allow people the time to work through what they are trying to say, they will be more successful. Open Main Menu. Browse Courses My Classes. Sign In Subscribe Course Catalog. There are three basic listening models, each of which reflect upon the various ways that the person who is doing the listening may be feeling. You may use all three of these listening models at one point or another, depending upon whom you are listening to, what the conversation is about, and even what type of mood you are in.
Helpful Tools If you are like many people, you have a difficult time remembering the names of people you are introduced to. When you find yourself in a situation where you are confused or unsure of what is being said, do not be afraid to let the speaker know that.
This could include the listener injecting some thoughts and ideas about the topic that could be useful to the other person. However, good listeners never highjack the conversation so that they or their issues become the subject of the discussion. We suspect that in being a good listener, most of us are more likely to stop short rather than go too far. Our hope is that this research will help by providing a new perspective on listening. We hope those who labor under an illusion of superiority about their listening skills will see where they really stand.
We also hope the common perception that good listening is mainly about acting like an absorbent sponge will wane. Finally, we hope all will see that the highest and best form of listening comes in playing the same role for the other person that a trampoline plays for a child.
It gives energy, acceleration, height and amplification. These are the hallmarks of great listening. You have 1 free article s left this month. You are reading your last free article for this month. Subscribe for unlimited access. Create an account to read 2 more.
Listening skills.
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